Americans would never use torture.  Yes, I use to believe this.  America was different.  Americans hold themselves to higher standards.  What was it about 9/11 which made it possible for us to lower our standards, to sink to the level of totalitarian dictatorships.   What is most remarkable is the lack of public outcry, and the fact the those you would expect lead the charge against “enhanced interragation techniques”  have been quieted by the fear of being soft on terrorist.  

     America can no longer claim moral superiority.  America can no longer stand apart because, well, there are some things we just will not do.  We have adopted the techniqes of those we oppose.  In that we are all losers.

Remember when you finished a roll of film and you rushed it to the store, you couldn’t wait to see the prints. Remember when you had only 24 exposures, so you had to pick you subjects carefully. Well, no more waiting and no more worrying about how many exposures you have. Welcome to the world of digital pictures. The sky’s the limit. Take all the pictures you want, dependent on the size of your card of course. And, well, no waiting to see the pictures, they are instantly available. I wonder if we are the better for it. What do we get for all this convenience. A hard drive full of pictures that we still have to go through; and worst, no excitement, no anticipation as you rip into the envelope to get a first look at your pictures.

I was in a truck stop with a small Burger King. We had to walk through a group of teenagers happily shooting pictures of each other with their digital camera. I wonder if they ever knew the discipline of having only 24 exposures, having to choose carefully what pictures to take; knowing that with each picture, that was one less exposure for something that might come up later. What you end up with is tons of pictures, that first must be downloaded and gone through; and well, that takes time. I took over six gigabytes of pictures in Iraq. They remain on my hard drive. O, I’ve looked at them, made a few slides shows out of them, but by and large they are just there. Maxine and I have taken two vacations since I’ve been back from Iraq, tons of pictures taken, none available to show unless we cranked up the computer. No albums to sit on the shelf, and go through when I get the notion, no prints to send my mother to put on the refrigerator. I want the excitement of waiting for my prints. I want a hard copy that I can hold in my hand, not a flickering image on a computer screen. They aren’t really pictures, just virtual pictures; really just digits, 0’s and 1’s. Readily available if your hard drive doesn’t crash or someone doesn’t discover a new and better format for pictures, rendering your pictures as yesterdays technology.

     One of my favorite movies is “Parenthood” with Steve Martin.  I like its realistic depiction of family life . . . no too much like “Leave it to Beaver” or “Father Knows Best”  but not too much like the “Simpsons”.    I have showed the movie to my youth group once; an excellent discussion starter on family life.   Anyway, parenthood is on my mind lately.  My youngest graduated from Texas A&M and after spending the summer working at church camp, got a job with an aviation company in Houston doing weather for pilots.   My oldest just got his Masters in Literature, his wife also got her’s in Public Health and they are both now serving in the peace corp in a place call Turkmenistan.  My middle child is working on his PHD in Math Education, his wife just got her Masters in Counseling and is working at UT.  As I contemplate all this, I wonder as a parent, what is it I did right; or maybe they turned out this way inspite of my parenting skills, not because of them.   Whatever happened, I did the best I could; both Maxine and did.     The highlight of the holiday season, seeing our kids . . . and talking to Dean and Robin from Turkmenistan.  You know, the highlight of being a parent after they have grown, is waiting at the door for them to visit.   The lowlight, knowing they have to leave.   Parenthood.  Got to love it.  

 I have been having difficulty finding time to do any painting.  My latest finished effort is Sunset in Iraq.  This is my fourth attempt at this one; its getting better . . . I think.  Anyway, got the sun to shine out of the clouds, but the orange color of the sunset still gets hidden underneath the dark purple clouds.  May have to try again.  Anyway . . . here it is.  I have been working on a scene from our emergency room for the past month . . . just can’t seem to finish it.  Doing a lot of Iraq painting here lately.  Hmmmm  . . . I hope I’m not obsessed or anything.  

I just painted this picture. A child just died; a daily occurance in Iraq. This one was shot in the head. The Docs, nurses and medics tried for 45 minutes to keep the child alive . . . we failed. The pictures shows us surrounding the child and praying; the only thing left to do. The pictures seems somewhat pale, not very bright at all. I painted it that way. I used very diluted colors for everything but the blood on the child’s bandaged head, that is full strength red. The child is left white; no paint save for the shadow where the blanket comes up over the child’s bandaged head. The bright white shows up well amidst the duller colors of the picture . . . the child is the focus of our attention . . . and prayers.